My Twin Flame

I’ve considered writing about this before but God had not given the go-ahead… until now.

I met my twin flame, in person, in 2003.  They were involved in an activity that my then partner (now ex) and I were also in.

I found them attractive but I couldn’t help but notice, especially when standing / sitting next to them that the energy was completely overwhelming – through the roof, make your skin crawl, downright unnervingly overwhelming.  And this is not typical for me.  Just because I’m attracted to someone doesn’t mean I get all whacked out about it.

Also, my partner (now ex) and I just kept running into my twin flame.  It was uncanny.  Everything that had to fall into place to make these synchronistic meetings happen was just nuts.

I’d also sent an email to the whole group once, many of which commented on it when in person, but my twin flame actually answered the email.  Some of the things said, well, really the things misspoken (mistyped), totally jived with what I later found out about experiences we’d had together before.  Accidents never happen.

Well, I couldn’t help but take note that this person was significant to me in some way.

Now, mind ya, I am describing this person as my twin flame and yet, back then, that term twin flame hadn’t even entered my paradigm yet.

Well, the activity we were in got totally out of hand with all the drama queens involved so my partner (now ex) and I opted to bow out.  And yet, even after that, we still kept running into my twin flame.

So, we met in the spring and by fall of that year, I was wondering wtf was up with this person.  Over about 3 to 4 days I got the biggest part of my answer, still not knowing a danged thing about the whole twin flame thing.

I asked my astrologer for a reading.  I made my best guess at my twin flame’s birthday, which I found out later was not completely accurate and yet perhaps it was close enough as I got the info I needed, perhaps outer planets involved anyway, which take a while to move.  My astrologer also gave me a Tarot reading.  This was all done through email and unfolded over a few days, the same few days that my partner (now ex) and I attended a Body, Mind, Spirit Expo.  The bottom line from my astrologer was that this person and I had a past-life together.

So, while at the expo, my partner (now ex) and I heard a psychic talk about using your “mental view screen”.  We also heard a psychology-type person (don’t know exactly what) talk about past-life regression work that they did and they gave a free book to anyone who would bother to stick around for a signed copy so my partner (now ex) and I got a book, which also had a meditation cd included.

After the last day of the expo, late in the evening, my partner (now ex) and I went to a place known for great espresso and desserts.  While there, I was given a vision, yep, on my mental view screen.  Clairvoyance not being my forte, well, it was a bit overwhelming, even though what I was shown was completely innocuous.  My partner (now ex) knew something was up and asked if I was ok, not something that was typical of them to do.

And what was I shown?  The place, the setting of… my twin flame’s and my past-life together.  Over several days I got more details.  As soon as this all came to my conscious awareness, then I quit running into my twin flame.  I figured I’d gotten the message – there was healing to be done concerning this past-life.

I spent about 2 years knocking out the healing required.  Did a lot of Tarot readings and journaling in that time and utilized the past-life regression book and cd we had acquired.  After that, I figured I was done with this person, that the reason for us being brought together had been realized and addressed.  My ex and I split up not long before I finished my 2 year healing of this past life.  Not long after, I ran into my twin flame again.

About a year and a half later, I found my journal pages and sat in front of the fireplace and made a release ritual out of tossing the pages into the fire.  I felt really done then.

But, about a year and a half after that, I dreamt about my past-life personality, who I was in that past life.  Later, when awake and had remembered the dream, I just knew this past life personality and I had some work to do that day but didn’t know quite what.  Well, later, in the afternoon, it all came to me – I was to do a “redo” of that past life.  Like when you’re kids playing a game and someone asks for “do overs”.

Again, I made a ritual out of it, lit some candles, got a crystal for each chakra, laid down on the couch and, well, I could say I imagined all this and yet it was as if it was fed to me.  30 minutes later I had redone that life and it had a much happier ending.

One key piece in this redo, which I just knew was the case – I could only change my own choices, not anyone else’s.  I knew right where I could have made a better choice.  It changed everything, not just for us but also for the community around us, ya know, back then.

Here again, I felt as done as done could be with this person and yet again, not long after, then I ran into them again.

So, that brought us up to about 2008, which, as I have come to understand in more recent times, was when my twin flame and I had originally planned, at a soul level, to come into each other’s lives.  Well, that didn’t happen.  I’m sure by that point the Divine was well aware that I could / would play a significant role in this planetary ascension so we were not brought together in such a way that would result in us being in each other’s lives in a significant way outwardly.

Considering all I’ve been through with this ascension project, I can totally see why our original plan / soul contract was not being fulfilled.  No way did I have much of anything to offer anyone as the Divine was insisting that I help everyone instead.  Groan.

Well, towards the end of 2009, I was using a Doreen Virtue angel card deck for a reading.  I got the Twin Flame card.  That was the first time I’d seen that term.  I found info about it online that resonated, which was that when we break off into individuated souls, back when we were still in the Divine realms, we come off in clumps that some call soul groups or soul tribes.  Then smaller groups which tend to be soul mate connections, which on Earth can be any and all sorts of relations – family, partners, business partners, friends or some other close relationship where you know each other very personally.  And the last soul that you break off from is your twin flame.

That same night, after the day I got the Twin Flame card, I dreamt of my twin flame, one of the few times that I dreamt of them and it was actually them and not something or someone else representing them in some way.  In the dream they were shown to me and a voice said, “Would you like that?”  I said, “Sure.”  The voice said, “Then have that.”

Not long after, a telepathic connection was happening between us.

In the summer of 2011, I ran into my twin flame twice in 6 weeks, the first time was the day after my birthday.  They got to see me in my ascension-hell-years fat suit.  Joy.

In the middle of 2012, I was guided by my twin flame’s higher self to communicate some things to them through email, still having their address from years before.  I was given info through Tarot that would assist them in their healing / ascension work.  I was told what to say and from my mundane-level self’s perspective, I was flying blind as I really didn’t know this person from Adam on a personal level.

In the fall of 2013, I was informed that my twin flame was ascension-ready.

The ascension hell years continued as we forerunners and those above the veil did everything possible to get the next “wave” of lightworkers to actually flow along with their process.

I connected telepathically with my twin flame very often.  It was nice.  But I couldn’t help but notice that it was I who initiated the connection.  Initially I wondered if they were not so good on transmit or I was not so good on receive or something.  I had my friend (who I speak about on this blog) “look into” it for me.  What my friend came back with, in part, was that my twin flame had asked, “Are we always stuck with the same person?”  Stuck.  Their word.  Well, isn’t that special.  Not.

Over the years, I continued to send an email now and again, maybe even sending songs or something.  Perhaps there was an implied message of “Feel free to actually respond to one of these emails any time.”  After being informed of their ascension-readiness, I then emailed them and flat asked them to email me.  Nope.  They live about a 15 minute drive from here and I know where they live and I was even so bold as to leave them a note at their door, twice, over many months, to no avail.

Well, by the spring of 2015, I was fed up with them.  Here was my twin flame, ascension-ready and had been in telepathic connection with me for almost 6 years and son of a gun if I could get them to acknowledge my existence in a more concrete way, specifically through email.  When I’d asked them to email me, I let them know that was all I was looking for since that was all I could muster due to my planetary ascension work.  And outwardly, due to my overall isolation and also changing where I got groceries (which was often, not always, a place that we would run into each other), I haven’t been in much of a situation TO run into them recently but I’d been convinced long before that if we were supposed to run into each other, we would… but didn’t.

I quit bothering to make the telepathic connection and, as you may well have guessed, if I didn’t make it happen, it didn’t happen.

In the summer of 2015, out of sheer boredom / something to do as I sat my ascension-weary butt in a chair day in and day out, I started to look up people online, including “back home” where I grew up.  I thought of someone who I’d had a crush on when I was in high school.  Well, as soon as they were in my conscious awareness, I knew that they were an unconventional thinker, about spirituality and other things and were well aware of how messed up 3D Earth was.  I just knew that they would get this whole healing and ascension thing.

Not long after, this person’s higher self (HS) was in contact with me and asked if I would assist their human in their healing process after my ascension.  I said I would.

Then not long after that, their HS told me their human had intuited that a “lover” would be arriving in their life.  Initially, I just thought, “Well that’s cool!”  I did a Tarot reading to jump start the intuition and get some more details and eventually had to sit back and laugh as their HS was informing me that their human’s “approaching lover” was me.  Talk about being the last to know.  lol

This person is extremely intuitive and their HS let them know that I was someone who they had known of.  We didn’t really know each other but we would know each other’s name and face.  But that’s all their HS told them for a while.

We then developed a telepathic connection.  We were getting pretty close and there were some things about me that their HS was not telling them.  I finally told their HS that it was high time they knew some things.  Their HS was in agreement and let them know.  Their HS let me know when the message was sent and when it was received and as soon as this person had the info they started making guesses as to who I was.  I was not their only guess but I was their first guess.  (You can bet there will be some sh*t-flipping about being one on a list.)  Since they had flat guessed my name, their HS felt it was only right to give them confirmation.

I realized that high school crush had gone both ways.  They were thrilled to find out it was me.  That right there was a far cry from the energy shown to me by my own twin flame.  I was thrilled to find out that they were thrilled to find out it was me they had been in connection with.

Well, I was quite prepared to let this person know of my twin flame upon my physical arrival into their life.  That was no big deal to me.  I’d done the multiple partner thing at a 3D level and pulled it off with integrity.  I was sure that an ascended version of me would handle it quite well.  This person’s HS felt they could handle it, though they’d had some jealousy issues with an ex of theirs.  Their HS has since gotten this person to do some massage, then Reiki, specifically to help them release the jealousy issue.  I understand they’ve done quite well with it.  And kudos to their HS for getting things lined up for success.

Meanwhile, back at the twin flame ranch, as I said, I quit connecting and yet whenever I thought of them it resulted in me being ticked off.  There is only so much of that before I just can’t deny the message that the emotions bring.

A few weeks ago, I let my twin flame go.  I announced it to my friend.  Within a week from then, I was checking in with God to see if He had any info for me.  Yep.  I suspected it was about ascension, but no, it was God telling me that I’d made a decision about my twin flame and that it was the right decision to make.  And twin flame or no, I deserved better.

Surprise twin flame story ending?  Perhaps.  Regardless of whether twin flames do typically outgrow each other or what, as I’ve said many times, many a plan, both individually and collectively, have had to be abandoned as this very dynamic planetary ascension project unfolds.  Rest assured, in more ways than one, none of us are / will be coming out of this experience the same way we came in.

And again, I can’t deny the emotions – now when I think of my twin flame, I don’t get ticked.  More confirmation.


20 thoughts on “My Twin Flame

  1. Thank you so much for sharing such heart energy. And yes, the time is right now. I know often when I write articles people pick up on what I consider ‘side’ issues. Strangely for me here there were quite a few by-the-by statements you made (off the main theme) that resonated most strongly with me.

    Like for example, the timing over the years and the events, the fat suit, the boredom, etc. While I am aware others have been through what I have (their main theme only placing them on a different stage) it definitely has a certain shock value when I read it in the way you presented it here. It actually releases (on a human level) an emotional ‘aha’ moment. Something really good.

    The ending, yes, while surprising and disappointing on a human level in a higher sense fits! We don’t need someone to walk us down the aisle (and not assuming you do). We are enough on our own. We definitely have no clue how the next hour will play out let alone the next day. All expectations are being obliterated. Lovingly…


    • Yes, one of the reasons I had been wanting to tell this story was because of everything about it that was not necessarily about my twin flame.

      It’s a story about how the Divine gets our attention and won’t lose it until it gets the message across.

      It’s about how we can actually redo the past.

      It’s about healing.

      It’s about being present and making choices based on the reality of the situation.

      It’s about honoring self, no matter how it might look or if it conforms to any thoughts that are even remotely conventional.

      And yes, much more.

      And this is why I have read so very little fiction since my awakening – I appreciate people’s creative imagination for writing novels, etc., but real life is so much more interesting than fiction. Even if that art so desperately attempts to mimic life and can come very close, real life and creating on this scale, with a mission, with the intention of positively influencing an entire planet and beyond is REAL creation.

      Who is going to make the movie of our journey is what I’d like to know. It’s really something I’ve thought of often in recent years. If anyone made a movie of my experience, I would insist that it be as close to reality as could possibly be since no amount of embellishing would make it seem as awesome as it actually is.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh wow, you most definitely achieved what you had hoped in writing this then! I certainly picked up on it.

        I finished reading your reply with a big smile…I often wonder too about a movie that is. Although…maybe…in a few years this journey will only be a distant twinkle in the human memory…The big picture image is truly miraculous…so many heroes …


        • “…in a few years this journey will only be a distant twinkle in the human memory…”

          Doesn’t it REALLY feel like this boulder we’ve been pushing up the hill, not just our own personal experience of it, but the overall collective “project”, doesn’t it feel like we just got the boulder right at the top of the hill, not going uphill anymore… and we haven’t sent it crashing down the other side just quite yet, but… ?!

          I sit here very emotional right now (listening to Nickelback is making an assist) and as weary as I have been for far too long, on top of feeling the sheer energetic lift, the part of me who so adores humankind wondered if I would ever care again to even lift a finger for another unascended human after my own ascension. I’d certainly be free with no obligation, but… (as the tears start to roll) that humankind lover is SO joyous to know that I will still have my “boots on the ground”, just different “boots”, but to get a front row seat… to ALL of it… the unfolding of the “good”, the “bad” and the ugly(?). lol

          What a truly awesome creation we very awesome creators are creating.

          Liked by 1 person

          • Oh, hell yeah! By all rights we should have sent that boulder crashing down, and yet something unseen, unexpected, more loving caught it and shifted our perspective to appreciate rather our journey up there as opposed to the aim of it. It’s as you said before, we are not here to defeat anyone or anything.

            I wouldn’t worry too much though because you no longer have to get up and help anyone, rather the force has picked up and is running on its own steam. This, my dear friend, is a huge accomplishment!

            On the surface things still appear mixed and matched and crunched, but slip sliding below, is a protective undercurrent, a web full of unexpected gems. Maybe we can call them rewards, or maybe the sneak previews of things to come (some of which we have longed for, for so long). I think the very idea for us (Forerunners) of actually moving forward is a hard concept to grasp it’s been such a loooooong looooong looooong wait…

            It’s like how? what? now? I can go out and actually do that?! I kind of feel like a grizzly waking up from a deep winter hibernation. Sometimes only after I’ve done something I have not done in years I suddenly wonder what happened to me, where have I been, most importantly where has this enthusiasm I once had sprouted from? And it’s soooo much clearer, purer, more focused and much more effective. Even the in between darker energy seems shallow. It’s in these moments I realize how much on the human level has been blocked from us…So you are right what creators we are to have pushed through all of it! But I have a feeling the real genius of our work is only beginning to unfold…

            Liked by 1 person

  2. Just an update on this situation.

    I was guided to put up a new post for the first time in 6 months on Dec. 8th. My more recent posts have often been prompted either just before a significant shift or just after. And those are often collective shifts and yet are evidenced in individuals.

    So, that same night as I laid down to sleep, my twin flame (tf) flashed through my mind. My initial response was “I don’t care to think about that.” and that was that and I went to sleep. The next day I thought to check in with God on that and found out that my twin flame had, after a year and a half of me not connecting with them, they FINALLY went inward and inquired about it… and hence found out I’d released them. And all they’d needed to do all this time to find this out was to ask. So that gives some idea or their lack of desire to even inquire about me.

    On the 23rd, the thought of their higher self, who I’d worked closely with back in 2012 to assist my twin flame in their ascension work, popped into my mind. It was hours later before I sat down and connected in with their higher self (HS) to find out wth. I was told my tf was mourning the loss of me. They know they blew it, can’t argue, are accepting, but yep, as with anything, even when you know you have to let something go, mourning may be in order.

    My friend whom I speak of on this blog said they had their own HS pop in for the first time in a while this same day or close to it (my friend and I were urged to release our HSes back in 2012, see post “The Higher Self”). Their HS told them that the HSes of the forerunners (since no longer needing to work with us) have been helping other HSes to better guide their humans. So, HSes are being rather active here as of late.


  3. OMG OMG OMG! You just described exactly what has happened to me with my twin flame, from what I’ve read so far! You know you posted this on April 19, aka 419, which is Kaitlyn’s birthday! And it’s also a synchronistic number- messages attached to the number 419, likes or comments or whatever it is on social media. I was literally just asking my angels to show themselves and that I’m not afraid anymore! The events that preceded every single time we “bumped into each other” all over the place was proof of the unseen hand- the unmanifest, aka OM. In my case, the outer manifestation of my personal divine residing at the core of my heart is my physical physical physical twin flame. I’m expecting her to come and find me soon with the physical manifestation for the metaphysical seed I have planted. Amazing to read your story, I for one am really grateful that you shared this with the world, I’m radiating with so much joy now 🙂
    I hope you can feel the genuine vibrations of unconditional love like a cool breeze on a warm day. Lots of love, Dushyanth.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Awesome post! I teetered with the twin flame idea for a long time and eventually abandoned the idea completely…Well almost. Anyway, the individual who I thought was my twin flame I too let go. Whatever “work” we needed to do I feel I completed on my end. I value the deep spiritual connection he and I had but he just simply is not someone who I see myself spending my life with. He is suffering from some serious psychosis (for a lack of better terms) and I couldn’t pull him out of it. It ended up being a very toxic situation. Loved your post and I definitely understand what you’ve expressed here.

    Best wishes, Leann


    • As you can see by my story, this was not mundane-level me having some fascination with this whole twin flame gig. I went along as I felt I was “supposed to” and yet my twin flame gave me nothing to work with.

      As this post also said, I have now connected telepathically with someone else and it’s not possible for us to be together in person right now, but the connection is so awesome. I can safely say this is the love of my life.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. That was an interesting article about Twin Flames, GAF!

    I just recently, this year, was exposed to that same term. It never resonated with me, but I WAS curious about it.

    I inquired once. Since coming on-line about 7 years ago, I became
    re-aquanted with my own means of connecting. It’s limited; reserved MOSTLY to only ME. I’m purposely not gifted to read others. It’s most important for me to navigate my own life and lead myself by faith (just saying what I was made aware of). But in quarry about my “twin flaim” and was it or is it (lover/friend X, Y or Z)? The answer was resounding NO. “BUT THEY ARE DEFINATELY soul group peeps…some further along and other behind or right on par with you. But keep you ego in check, you also gotta learn some humility.”

    Well…will I EVER meet my twin flaim? (There is a sense of laughter…and a God damn wink). “Eh…who do think is pulling the strings and deciding all the consequences for your willful stubbornness WHEN YOU KNOW you are supposed to do a particular thing and you let your ego (human) rule?” (Another God damn wink).

    “This is a solo life (no need for passionate distraction…been there done that is the message…so baby). Got bigger things to fry in this life then be destructed with a one true love.” SERIOUS…this is what came through. But…ol’ twin flaim’s gotta name, and he’s the one pulling levers and “deciding” the degree of consequences certain “Sins” deserve (what I get for missing the point, not from ignorance but from ego driven willfulness).

    I was rather relieved…don’t have to search and be all…”woe is me…where is my true love.” Then I got Pissed…”That bastard…what a dick!!!!”

    (Wink wink wink…chuckle…”Told you not to do that…you knew better. Better me who love’s you as myself then…oh…may be say SATAN (SNL CHURCH CHAT).”

    I don’t even think about “him” anymore. Once I knew, it became a non-issue.

    Every partner…everyone that’s loved and or betrayed me…all those I’ve loved and betrayed in turn…fought for and with, given and then abandoned…soul mates and groupies.

    I was never without my twin flaim. And all those peeps down here with me with whom the game of life has been played and is still playing? I’ve know them all, but only a few of them did I sense past life connection…

    …but because my life is distinctly focused on lessons of Faith (Under compassion) through empathy…any past life knowledge is blocked. The importance of knowing becomes weaker the more I grow in the primary goal as its reached reached.

    But Twin Flaim? He’s quirky…likes to do smack down with a smile and a joke. And that’s because there is a love there…that reaches forgiveness very very easily…because it’s understood…the purpose and the means have purpose in pure love (intuitively felt…but the deepest feeling of it is inhibited by the life because…it’s a solo act now, and don’t need the distractions. Got enough to be going on with.

    I always wondered why so much of the “Esoteric” was OVERTLY denied me even though I DO have a very powerful gift of “Sensing” and empathy. Now I know, and in every envy the gift in others. I can sense when the gift in others is in indegrty or not…it’s source and quality of source, but I “May” not engage it except within the confines of my own life. My Twin Flaim ALSO is part of that process…blocks a great deal….both in and out…it defeat my goal.

    That’s my story, and thanks for sharing yours, too. I loved reading it.


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